Witch Hotline: Dial 666

Witch Hotline: Dial 666

The voice that answers doesn’t seem old, it is a woman’s voice but she sounds normal she asks my name and I tell her I ponder if I should have given a pseudonym, but maybe she would have known I was lying she doesn’t tell me hers, but asks how she can help me I pause and can hear static on the line, or maybe interference, I wonder who is listening or if my call is being recorded I think it might be rude to ask her if she is really a witch, but I want to know so I ask her if she has a cat instead she laughs and tells me that yes, she actually does, but not to believe everything I see on TV we stay on the line for a while and I hear clicks and a slight hissing noise she asks again how she can help and I don’t know what to say so I ask what services she provides the voice on the other end of the line says she can offer healing spells, incantations, and bespoke rituals I wonder where she is, what kind of a room, what things she has around her she asks if I want to harm someone or myself I say no she asks again how she can help I wonder if she can shapeshift and if so what animal she would most like to be so I ask her this she says she would like to be a dolphin, but for now is content to be a human I think about this for a while, the phone gets hot on my face and I wonder if it is her doing it, if some alchemy is occurring or if it is just the plastic having been on my cheek for a while I ask if she has a broomstick and she laughs and says the symbol of domestic drudgery is no longer a broomstick and that she actually owns a Dyson no one talks for a while one of us hangs up